Mindset matters!

The introduction to the mindset section of The Rocking Chair Test.

‘We have discussed the first part of the success formula – Goals.

Now we need to turn to the second stage, our mindset. As you will see, there is definitely an overlap between the techniques we can use to support us in the achievement of our goals and what we can do to develop and sustain a strong, positive mindset.

A significant percentage of our success is due to what we believe and what we say to ourselves on a regular basis. Early in my career, I was told that if you say you can or you can’t you are probably right. When we feel positive, confident, and resilient, we believe anything is possible. The reverse is also true. When we lack these things, our negative self-talk takes over and we want to stay in or at very best close to the entrance of our personal cave.

This section talks through some additional actions we can take to bombard our subconscious mind with positive energy and stimulus. By working through all the GiFTs in the previous sections of this book, we are already well on our way.

Constant self-development and learning from others help us improve our mindset as well as our capability. It fuels our growth as well as our belief system. Journaling enables us to capture these learnings and supports several activities we work through in this section. Many of the goal related GiFTs have a component linked to strengthening our mindset so our self-talk is influenced by our inner champion as opposed to our inner critic. Vision-boards to songs to visual representations on our ‘dashboards’ and our fridges build a belief in ourselves as well as our goals.

Throughout my life and career, I have thought about the 4 mindsets:

•   Player

•   Victim

•   Cynic

•   Spectator

Bits and pieces of each of these mindsets are in all of us. However, the player mindset is the only place from which you can consistently live a great life whilst moving toward your goals, dreams, and potential.

Why?

Those who operate with a victim mindset continually feel sorry for themselves, believe that life is not fair, and remove blame from themselves. It is always someone else’s fault. They take little or no accountability and responsibility. I refer to it as poor-me syndrome. Unfortunately, this is a popular mindset. Those with a victim mindset love to find others to mope around with. Avoid these people as they drain your energy and impact your champion mindset. They have no intention of leaving their cave and enjoy complaining about how cold and damp it is.

Those with a cynical mindset find reasons to explain why things won’t work. You hear expressions like “we’ve tried it before” and “other people have it easier.” They usually attribute other people’s success to luck. Think back to the story of the number one salesperson. In this scenario, people with a cynical mindset are the ones sitting in the audience justifying why what they are hearing won’t work for them. They frequently criticise those who have left the cave and are in the uncomfortable stage of learning new behaviours. These people are quick to say, “See, I told you it wouldn’t work!”

Those with a spectator mindset procrastinate and overthink. They lack courage and are often held back by their inner critic telling them they aren’t good enough. People with a spectator mindset lack the confidence to take decisive action, often for fear of being judged by others. They are usually influenced by those with a victim or cynical mindset. Personal best thinking is a good way to help spectators take baby steps forward until their confidence grows and they move into the player mindset.

Those with a player mindset are out of the cave and in the arena looking to move forward toward their goals. They get comfortable with being uncomfortable. They are can-do people with a positive, optimistic, action-orientated, resilient, and persistent belief system. They understand the need to take on new behaviours and live with a growth mindset. When they make a mistake, they learn the lesson and move on.

The following GiFTs are designed to further help us either adopt or maintain the player mindset.

Before we do that, I want you to think about the company you keep.

• Why spend time or give space to those who are predominantly living with a victim, cynical, or spectator mindset?

• How does it help you move forward?

• How does it help you believe in yourself?

• How does it help you set and go after SMUUT goals?

• How does it help you take a few risks with no guarantee of success?

• How does it help you when you stumble and fall?

• Do these people lift you up or drag you down?

• How does this hinder you from living the life of your dreams?

Look to push all negative influences out of your life.

I recognise this can be difficult but as ex-NFL footballer, Trent Shelton, one said, we “need to love (some) people from a distance.” People who we cannot exclude from our life but who criticise and damage our confidence and belief system. They have given up on their dreams and want you to do the same. Minimise time with these people where you can.

Instead, look to create a winning circle of people with a positive, can-do, supportive, and uplifting energy. Look for aspirational people who are already living a happy and successful life. Find the right mentors and/or coach. Surround yourself with people who you can trust with your goals and dreams—people who are out of their own cave and making their way to their next summit. People who will give you constructive feedback and challenge you to become the best version of yourself.

The L/C+10% way of thinking is born out of this concept. Seek successful people, teams, and businesses and learn what they do. In life, people with likeminded mindsets tend to gravitate to each other.

The player mindset means your inner champion is overpowering your inner critic. In this part of the book, let’s discuss the ways in which you can help it succeed in this regard. I deliberately present a range of options all of which are designed to help you improve and strengthen your mindset.

Take your time to work through this section. Please complete the exercises and be willing to stay out of the cave as some require repetition for value to be seen. Complete each GiFT with a player’s mindset. Avoid any cynical thoughts like ‘I’ve tried this before’ or ‘this is not for me.’ Give each one a go. At the end of the section, reflect on which ones you believe will help you the most. Start with them and build them into your routine.